Ted (2012) poster
2012 · comedy · fantasy · parody

Ted

Directed by Seth MacFarlane1h 47m2012
ElsewhereIMDb6.9705kRT68%Metacritic62
  • warm
  • brisk
  • gentle
  • surreal
  • redemptive
  • tender
Movie DNA

Warm, kinetic, gentle comedy / fantasy, surreal in texture. Redemptive, mid-stakes, tender, hand-scored across twelve axes of taste.

How every film is hand-scored →

John Bennett, a man whose childhood wish of bringing his teddy bear to life came true, now must decide between keeping the relationship with the bear or his girlfriend, Lori.

Our read · Ted (2012) reads as a warm, kinetic, surreal comedy · fantasy · parody entry — gentle in intensity, mid-stakes in scope, tender in temperature, redemptive in outlook. Hand-scored on twelve axes of taste — mood, pacing, weirdness, hope, stakes, humour, reality, density, warmth, auteur, intensity, and era — with a derived palette drawn from its dominant cinematography.

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The shape of Ted

Tonight, this looks like

What watching it is actually like.

You want filthy-mouthed teddy bear comedy with crude laughs.

ends warmyou’ll be fine aftergrabs you earlygrips by minute 3attention 2/5breezes by
Date nightWith friendsSoloWith parentsKids around
Heads-upexplicit sexdrug usecringe humiliation

Skip it tonightYou hate nonstop profanity, sex jokes and drug use.

DNA · twelve axes

The reading.

Each axis is hand-scored — not derived from votes or genre averages. The marker shows where this film sits; the gradient fill uses the film's own cinematography palette.

Mood · HeavyCosy
Pacing · Slow-burnKinetic
Intensity · GentleExtreme
Weirdness · ConventionalSurreal
Hope · NihilisticRedemptive
Stakes · IntimateEpic
Humour · NoneBroad
Reality · GroundedFantastical
Density · SparseTwisty
Warmth · ColdTender
Auteur · TransparentSignature
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