FilmsThe HeiferLike this

Films like The Heifer.

The Heifer (1985) reads as Neutral, kinetic, measured comedy / war, grounded in texture. Ambivalent, mid-stakes, measured. Every film below is ranked by distance across the same twelve hand-scored axes — with what it keeps, and where it walks away. Not a genre dump.

The National Shotgun (1978) poster
1. The National Shotgun1978

Keeps the cold, bleak undertow and the heightened unreality — one of the nearest reads in the catalogue.

Peking Opera Blues (1986) poster
2. Peking Opera Blues1986

Keeps the heightened unreality and the grounded, familiar shape; trades toward a relentless forward drive.

Porky's (1981) poster
3. Porky's1981

Keeps the heightened unreality and the grounded, familiar shape — one of the nearest reads in the catalogue.

What Am I Doing in the Middle of the Revolution? (1972) poster
4. What Am I Doing in the Middle of the Revolution?1972

Keeps the cold, bleak undertow and the heightened unreality — one of the nearest reads in the catalogue.

Who's Singin' Over There? (1980) poster
5. Who's Singin' Over There?1980

Keeps the cold, bleak undertow and the heightened unreality — one of the nearest reads in the catalogue.

Xica da Silva (1976) poster
6. Xica da Silva1976

Keeps the cold, bleak undertow and the heightened unreality — one of the nearest reads in the catalogue.

Say a Word for the Poor Hussar (1980) poster
7. Say a Word for the Poor Hussar1980

Keeps the heightened unreality and the grounded, familiar shape; trades toward a cold, bleak undertow.

Forgotten Melody for a Flute (1987) poster
8. Forgotten Melody for a Flute1987

Keeps the heightened unreality and the grounded, familiar shape; trades toward a intimate, personal stakes.

Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986) poster
9. Police Academy 3: Back in Training1986

Keeps the cold, bleak undertow and the heightened unreality — one of the nearest reads in the catalogue.

The Tale of How Tsar Peter Married Off His Moor (1976) poster
10. The Tale of How Tsar Peter Married Off His Moor1976

Keeps the cold, bleak undertow and the heightened unreality — one of the nearest reads in the catalogue.

A Genius, Two Partners and a Dupe (1975) poster
11. A Genius, Two Partners and a Dupe1975

Keeps the heightened unreality and the grounded, familiar shape; trades toward a cold, bleak undertow.

Citizen, Detective and Thief (2001) poster
12. Citizen, Detective and Thief2001

Keeps the cold, bleak undertow and the heightened unreality — one of the nearest reads in the catalogue.

These are The Heifer’s neighbours — where are yours?

Rate five posters and the same twelve axes read you — then tonight’s pick comes from your own centre of taste.

Find my film for tonight — 60 sec →