Films like Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus.

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009) reads as Neutral, breathless, measured horror / sci-fi, surreal in texture. Ambivalent, epic, cold. Every film below is ranked by distance across the same twelve hand-scored axes — with what it keeps, and where it walks away. Not a genre dump.

Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus (2010) poster
1. Mega Shark vs. Crocosaurus2010

Keeps the cold, bleak undertow and the documentary-plain realism — one of the nearest reads in the catalogue.

Mega Python vs. Gatoroid (2011) poster
2. Mega Python vs. Gatoroid2011

Keeps the cold, bleak undertow and the documentary-plain realism — one of the nearest reads in the catalogue.

Mega Piranha (2010) poster
3. Mega Piranha2010

Keeps the cold, bleak undertow and the documentary-plain realism — one of the nearest reads in the catalogue.

Ghost Shark (2013) poster
4. Ghost Shark2013

Keeps the cold, bleak undertow and the documentary-plain realism — one of the nearest reads in the catalogue.

Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark (2014) poster
5. Mega Shark vs. Mecha Shark2014

Keeps the cold, bleak undertow and the documentary-plain realism; trades toward a bone-dry seriousness.

Sharknado 5: Global Swarming (2017) poster
6. Sharknado 5: Global Swarming2017

Keeps the documentary-plain realism and the chilly detachment; trades toward a cold, bleak undertow.

Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies (2012) poster
7. Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies2012

Keeps the cold, bleak undertow and the documentary-plain realism — one of the nearest reads in the catalogue.

Arachnoquake (2012) poster
8. Arachnoquake2012

Keeps the cold, bleak undertow and the documentary-plain realism; trades toward a bone-dry seriousness.

Sharknado (2013) poster
9. Sharknado2013

Keeps the documentary-plain realism and the chilly detachment; trades toward a running vein of humour.

The Amazing Bulk (2012) poster
10. The Amazing Bulk2012

Keeps the cold, bleak undertow and the documentary-plain realism — one of the nearest reads in the catalogue.

Sharknado 2: The Second One (2014) poster
11. Sharknado 2: The Second One2014

Keeps the cold, bleak undertow and the documentary-plain realism; trades toward a relentless forward drive.

FDR: American Badass! (2012) poster
12. FDR: American Badass!2012

Keeps the documentary-plain realism and the chilly detachment; trades toward a running vein of humour.

These are Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus’s neighbours — where are yours?

Rate five posters and the same twelve axes read you — then tonight’s pick comes from your own centre of taste.

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